Budget
Island of the Fishmen aka L'isola degli uomini pesce
Well, it’s been a while since I wrote (or watched, for that matter) anything as gloriously silly as Island of the Fishmen. Whilst I have seen it before, it was only once and somewhat over a year ago, so I thought this re-imagining of Dr Moreau’s isalnd was ripe for another watch. And what a (ahem) treat it is!
It opens as you might expect a tense serious monster film to: the sea is still, several injured men look silently at the camera and a gull screeches overhead. Something has gone very wrong here, but we just don’t know what! Maybe this will be, despite the name, a slow-building tense affair, all hinted-at flashes and unsettling curiosities….. OH WAIT, NO! MONSTERS HAVE ARRIVED!
Angel Blade
The last thing I posted here (see below) was a rant/argument about how the “b” in “b-movie” didn’t mean bad. Sadly, as is so often the way when you try to make an argument, the next thing to come along so totally undermined my point that I’d have quite happily pretended it didn’t exist. But I shan’t, if only because admitting that there are exceptions to any argument is a good thing to do.
The 'B' in B-Movie Doesn't Mean Bad: A Rant.
As you can probably tell from just the briefest glance at this blog, I watch a lot of what would commonly be called ‘bad films’. Before we go any further, it should be made clear that this is a misleading and unfair label for these films. Films today tend to break down into depressingly few categories. They are either Big Budget, Independent, ‘Art-house’ or Foreign. Anything else tends to get labelled as bad. What’s even more disappointing is that, in the vast majority of cases ‘independent’, ‘art-house’ and ‘foreign’ often run together. So we’re left with: Big-Budget-Small-Brain-Blockbusters (the kind you eat popcorn with), Arty/Weird/Intellectual/Foreign/Independent (the kind you sip red wine with) and ‘the rest’ (the kind you drink lots of beer with).
Blood and Donuts
For a first real Women in Horror Recognition Month post, I chose to watch Holly Dale’s Blood and Donuts. I’ll be honest; I only chose the film because it has a female director and female-directed feature-length horror is all too rare. I must admit that, going on only the title, I really wasn’t expecting much.
How wrong could I be?
Though I won’t pretend that this is absolutely essential viewing, this is a clever, fun, sensitive vampire film; sharing much more with thoughtful films like Interview With The Vampire and Let the Right One In than with Hammer’s neck-biting romps. At the heart of this film we have the indefinitely old vampire, Boya - a “humanist vampire” as we discover. Much like Brad Pitt/Louis in Interview With The Vampire, this leaves Goya to lead a less than glamorous life, munching on rats and pidgeons as privately as he can and trying not to court too much attention.
The Killer Shrews
If I asked you to think of a fictional movie-title that would be undoubtedly awful, entirely silly and should probably never be made, do you think you could come up with better than The Killer Shrews?
Sometimes I really do wonder how on earth these things get pitched before creation. THis is low budget, but no so low that it didn’t have some funding. The conversation must have gone something along the lines of:
Lady Terminator
Oh me, oh my. Where to begin?
Sometimes, someone recommends you a film and it’s pretty good. You note down the recommendation, you go off and watch it and you are pleased. This friend of yours made a good recommendation.
Sometimes however, the recommended film is so mind-bendingly brilliant/bizarre that you are left in shock; you are almost angry that no-one has recommended this film before. Lady Terminator was made 1983. That means it has existed for all 21 years of my life. With this firmly in mind, how is it possible that I haven’t seen it before? The world has been hiding a gem from me!
Quest for the Lost City aka The Final Sactrifice
The version I watched said ‘Quest for the Lost City’ on the titles, but this was the best cover art for it.
OK, OK, let’s get the good bits out of the way first, that shouldn’t take long. The cinematography here is pretty good: for a decidedly low budget flick, they never try to do anything beyond their means and it’s preet well shot.
It’s just a shame that the screenplay, plot, acting, etc. just wasn’t anywhere near as good. At the time of writing, this film was the 14th worst rated on IMDb, which should give you some idea what we’re dealing with. In truth, this is nowhere near as bad as that makes it sound; this film was given the MST3K treatment and as such got far more exposure than it otherwise would’ve done. Were it not for this, it’d surely merely be wallowing amongst the ‘rubbish’ rather than the ‘shockingly awful’.
Microwave Massacre
Oh dear, here we go again. I definitely don’t plan to make this the norm, but I’m afraid that this is my second spoiler filled post. I think I can justify it again though. With Underwater City, I didn’t feel to bad about giving spoilers as 1)You will probably never see it 2)If the opportunity does arise, you should probably turn it down. Forewarned is forearmed, afterall, and Underwater City isn’t a particularly attractive prospect.
Poster Hunt #4 - The Incredible 2 Headed Transplant
As we’ve moved into October, it’s about time that Poster Hunt returned with another helping of cinematic presentation wonder…
This time, we’ve left behind the Nazisploitation and Spillane’s Man-Woman violence and moved to the uh.. somewhat unrecognised ‘Head Transplant’ sub-genre. Infact, The Incredible 2 Headed Transplant is IMDb user’s 6th Favourite Head Transplant film. Out of 6.
It was released to DVD fairly recently, coupled with the The Thing With Two Heads. I think there might be a theme running there….
Murder Party
Murder Party. Has there ever been a film so perfectly summed up by it’s title? Apart from Underwater City of course. Oh, or Godzilla Vs. SpaceGodzilla. Or actually pretty much half of the films I watch….
Regardless, Murder Party is both described by and lives up to it’s title. And the tagline? “Everybody Dies”? Believe it.
The film has split it’s viewers. With IMDb boards claiming that it is both the best film of 2007 and the “worst movie I have ever seen”. I have to say I don’t understand the haters at all; this film is a work of genius. It’s well-thought out, darkly comic and really great fun. The only negative point I’d pick up on is that it’s perhaps not the best paced film of all time; more on that soon.