Chopping Mall
Chopping Mall was my first blog, which I started way back in 2009. It was dedicated exlcusively to ridiculous and terrible films, which I watched a lot of back then. (So much time, so little work!)
I’ve resuced the posts from oblivion, to be preserved here for …uh… whatever.
It’s a pretty clunky process getting them out of blogspot (XML export, eww) and into here, so there may be a few formatting issues.
You Only Live Twice
The James Bond project is going slowly. When I decided, back in October, to watch every Bond film in order I didn’t expect it to be a marathon of back-to-back viewings (not like Argento week!) but if I’d been asked I’d probably have predicted to be beyond Film #5 after 9 months! As it is, You Only Live Twice marks a milestone of sorts: it’s the last film with Sean Connery. Ok, well… it’s not. Because he came back after Lazenby. But it’s the last film where only one actor had played Bond.
Melancholia
I’ve never been a Lars von Trier completist but I’ve always enjoyed his films - particularly Dogville, The Idiots and Antichrist (Ok, enjoyed might not be the right word), so I’d been looking forward to Melancholia since Cannes last year. My excitement was only further stoked by Peter Bradshaw’s astonishingly negative review in the Guardian…
Bradshaw has never made a secret of how much he hates everything von Trier has done, is doing or will do (to the extent that it’s pretty much pointless him writing reviews) but this one clearly had him riled!
Mould
OK, so just few days ago I was wowed by the poster for Mould* and decided that I’d almost certainly have to watch it. I must admit I wasn’t actually expecting very much: once you’ve seen a number of 21st century B-movies you tend towards pessimism. Most recent films that aim for the schlocky, low-grade style of classic 70s and 80s films do so in such a self-conscious, post-Planet-Terror, we’re-so-very-hip-and-grindhouse way that they’re ultimately pretty disappointing. To my surprise, Mould* resisted all that and played it straight-faced and gorey and, as a result, was a whole lot of fun.
Poster Hunt #12 - Mold
It’s been an absolute age since the last Poster Hunt blogpost - there hasn’t been one since July 2010! But today I stumbled upon a picture that was just too good not to revive the long-forgotten series. A pedant might well point out that this appears to a cover rather than an actual poster but… pfft! Who listens to pedants anyway?
So here is the beautiful artwork for MOLD! It looks a pretty fabulous film, so I might have to give a watch some time soon.
Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity
Oh they don’t make ’em like this anymore. Armed with an invincible title like that, a budget the size of a shoebox and ambitions the size of an alien planet, how could you go wrong? SGFBI is a masterclass in campy sci-fi film that could teach modern snoozefests a thing or two…
Firstly, it’s not nearly as sexual as its title would suggest. Nowadays, a film with the words “Slave Girls” in the title would almost certainly be pretty unpleasant. Instead, this fast-paced little flick just throws a couple of prison-escapees into a foreign jungle planet and follows their adventures. There’s hardly anything by way of gratuitously sleazy scenes and it’s all the better for it. The two women, Daria and Tisa, on a bid for galactic freedom, crash land on a strange and (at first) apparently deserted jungle planet.
More from Bradford
Juan of the Dead, the first film I saw at the Bradford Film Festival this year, was by far and away the most ‘Chopping Mall’ themed film of the bunch. The others were a curious bag of experimental and inventive footage that are certainly worth a mention though. I seriously doubt any of them are in line for a DVD release any time soon, so they might be a little harder to track down, but they’re all worth a watch - and as distribution moves more and more towards digital methods, they may well be available at some point.
Juan of the Dead
A few months ago, towards the end of last year, the Leeds International Film Festival announced a rather exciting looking UK premiere in the shape of the world’s first Cuban zombie film Juan of the Dead. Sadly, given that I was volunteering at the time (and watching as many films as I could cope with…) I missed it. Given that foreign cult films are sometimes ridiculously slow to appear on DVD here in the UK, I thought I’d missed it altogether. So it was a pretty nice surprise to see the fabulous Bradford Film Festival schedule it as part of their After Dark strand of horror films this year.
Oscar nominated films? Wuh?
Not a lot of posts since the film festival, huh? December and January were pretty busy months and the blog got somewhat left behind. It’s not like I haven’t seen many films recently but… truth be told, they’ve mostly been pretty good films. Which is unusual.
Chopping Mall was never meant to be exclusively about bad films, b-movies and grindhouse classics but it certainly wasn’t meant to be focused on all the Oscar hopefuls either. As it is, I’ve seen several of the nominees over the last few months, as well as a handful of other classy films that hardly belong here. I’ll gloss over them quickly and then it’ll be time to resume normal service.
James Bond triple bill
So, from the exciting introduction to the Bond universe that Dr No provided, I moved along (chronologically, of course) to a trio of films that pretty much embody what James Bond is. These films are the very peak of ‘Bond-ness’, they’re so jam packed with all the exciting (and ridiculous) tropes that came to define the the Bond film as a series that it’s no surprise that Austin Powers found the vast majority of its material here - some of the scenes are almost shot-for-shot identical!
Repulsion and Happy People
Three Two more from the Film Festival! Something old, something new, and something informative…
[Bellflower was going to be included in this group… It’ll be coming soon instead…]
Repulsion
Repulsion is early Polanski and definitely ‘classic’ enough that it’d usually fall way outside the focus of this blog: I tend to lean away from writing about the classics, if only because plenty of people have already written plenty of words about these films - what’s left for me to add? So I’ll be brief…