Chopping Mall
Chopping Mall was my first blog, which I started way back in 2009. It was dedicated exlcusively to ridiculous and terrible films, which I watched a lot of back then. (So much time, so little work!)
I’ve resuced the posts from oblivion, to be preserved here for …uh… whatever.
It’s a pretty clunky process getting them out of blogspot (XML export, eww) and into here, so there may be a few formatting issues.
Episode V: Chopping Mall Strikes Back
We’re back.
It’s been a long, long absence but - like many a zombie - the fact that Chopping Mall looked dead didn’t mean that it was dead. Not at all.
Instead, Chopping Mall returns refreshed, renewed and reinvigorated for a new year, nay, a new decade of exciting, gorey, thrilling films. I plan to broaden the scope of the blog a little; wheras previously it was almost all reviews, with the occasional special news piece, the new year should welcome in a little more film criticism, cinema news and history and all sorts of exciting fun.
RIP Paul Naschy
Sad, sad news today that Spanish horror writer, director and star Paul Naschy has died from cancer at the age of 75.
Over the years he’s starred in loads of films, most famously a series of werewolf films (The Mark of the Werewolf imdb) as well as countless other horror films and a handfull of satires and dramas set in Spain, which only became possible as the years of Franco-era Spanish censorship faded away.
El País has a Spanish language article here.
Scream and Scream Again
Scream and Scream Again? Sigh. With a name so dull can we really expect anything much from this 1970 UK horror flick? I mean, Scream and Scream again? How prosaic.
What could it possibly offer us to whet our appetites? Oh, Vincent Price is in it, you say? [One eyebrow raises…] Now there’s something, Mr Price has a bit of a reputation as horror supremo of the 60s/70s… perhaps you could tell me more?
Poster Hunt #5 - The Erotic Adventures of Zorro
What with November being quite busy and the poster for The Killer Shrews being quite so fab, Poster Hunt got left somewhat by the wayside this month.
Still, just over half-way through, the showcase of fabulous and/or strange posters returns with the Erotic Adventures of Zorro. How classy.
The Killer Shrews
If I asked you to think of a fictional movie-title that would be undoubtedly awful, entirely silly and should probably never be made, do you think you could come up with better than The Killer Shrews?
Sometimes I really do wonder how on earth these things get pitched before creation. THis is low budget, but no so low that it didn’t have some funding. The conversation must have gone something along the lines of:
Lady Terminator
Oh me, oh my. Where to begin?
Sometimes, someone recommends you a film and it’s pretty good. You note down the recommendation, you go off and watch it and you are pleased. This friend of yours made a good recommendation.
Sometimes however, the recommended film is so mind-bendingly brilliant/bizarre that you are left in shock; you are almost angry that no-one has recommended this film before. Lady Terminator was made 1983. That means it has existed for all 21 years of my life. With this firmly in mind, how is it possible that I haven’t seen it before? The world has been hiding a gem from me!
Quest for the Lost City aka The Final Sactrifice
The version I watched said ‘Quest for the Lost City’ on the titles, but this was the best cover art for it.
OK, OK, let’s get the good bits out of the way first, that shouldn’t take long. The cinematography here is pretty good: for a decidedly low budget flick, they never try to do anything beyond their means and it’s preet well shot.
It’s just a shame that the screenplay, plot, acting, etc. just wasn’t anywhere near as good. At the time of writing, this film was the 14th worst rated on IMDb, which should give you some idea what we’re dealing with. In truth, this is nowhere near as bad as that makes it sound; this film was given the MST3K treatment and as such got far more exposure than it otherwise would’ve done. Were it not for this, it’d surely merely be wallowing amongst the ‘rubbish’ rather than the ‘shockingly awful’.
Microwave Massacre
Oh dear, here we go again. I definitely don’t plan to make this the norm, but I’m afraid that this is my second spoiler filled post. I think I can justify it again though. With Underwater City, I didn’t feel to bad about giving spoilers as 1)You will probably never see it 2)If the opportunity does arise, you should probably turn it down. Forewarned is forearmed, afterall, and Underwater City isn’t a particularly attractive prospect.
Poster Hunt #4 - The Incredible 2 Headed Transplant
As we’ve moved into October, it’s about time that Poster Hunt returned with another helping of cinematic presentation wonder…
This time, we’ve left behind the Nazisploitation and Spillane’s Man-Woman violence and moved to the uh.. somewhat unrecognised ‘Head Transplant’ sub-genre. Infact, The Incredible 2 Headed Transplant is IMDb user’s 6th Favourite Head Transplant film. Out of 6.
It was released to DVD fairly recently, coupled with the The Thing With Two Heads. I think there might be a theme running there….
Murder Party
Murder Party. Has there ever been a film so perfectly summed up by it’s title? Apart from Underwater City of course. Oh, or Godzilla Vs. SpaceGodzilla. Or actually pretty much half of the films I watch….
Regardless, Murder Party is both described by and lives up to it’s title. And the tagline? “Everybody Dies”? Believe it.
The film has split it’s viewers. With IMDb boards claiming that it is both the best film of 2007 and the “worst movie I have ever seen”. I have to say I don’t understand the haters at all; this film is a work of genius. It’s well-thought out, darkly comic and really great fun. The only negative point I’d pick up on is that it’s perhaps not the best paced film of all time; more on that soon.